


Smile

by WolfBrigade



Category: Mai-HiME, Mai-Otome
Genre: F/F, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfBrigade/pseuds/WolfBrigade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hoping to skate by unnoticed in her film class, Natsuki is none too pleased when she is forced into a project with school president Shizuru Fujino. Especially considering said project sees her spending an inordinate amount of time on the same bed as the other girl. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile

Natsuki never smiled much as a child. Between her parents' nasty divorce and moving to a new city with her military mom every few years, she somehow forgot how to make her lips curve upwards.

This was never a big deal to her. Her personality never had much room for smiles anyway. Interacting with people on a social level was near hell for her and whenever someone was too friendly with her, they'd get an icy glare in return. Those people never came back again.

University hadn't been any different. Her biology major didn't require much socializing. The only time she might talk to someone else in a non-hostile manner was with the professor supervising her internship. Natsuki spent long hours in a basement lab observing cells under a microscope and inputting data into an ancient computer. Dr. Sakomizu occasionally came to give her a tip or compliment and received a terse nod in return—practically a brilliant grin by Natsuki's standards.

This all changed when she came across one Shizuru Fujino. She seemed perfect—she was easily one of the best looking people on campus (not that Natsuki paid much attention to such things), she was the president of the student government, and always had a small crowd of admirers clustered around her. Why she took interest in the perpetually moody Natsuki, no one could say for sure.

It had all started in a class Natsuki never even wanted to take: _Survey of Great American Film_. Unfortunately for her, she had to take a few upper level classes outside of her major in order to graduate. Natsuki had done her research diligently; apparently the class wasn't too arduous and the teacher was interesting.

Shizuru Fujino was also in the class (willingly, if Natsuki had to judge by the other girl's attentive posture. She was practically oozing eagerness). After the first few weeks of class, Natsuki had relaxed enough to feel confident about the class. She watched the films, aced the quizzes, and paid attention during the lectures. _This isn't so bad after all_ , she thought after she caught herself watching the next movie ahead of schedule.

That's when the teacher threw a damn curveball.

"Class, I have an idea for a potential change to the syllabus. I will leave it up to you to decide with a vote." Professor Sugiura announced after midterms. "You can either write your ten page paper as discussed earlier this year or…" She drew the moment out for as long as she could. "you can have a partner project." Excited whispers erupted around Natsuki. The dark haired girl glowered at her classmates. "Two people per group. You will have to teach the class about a contemporary film you believe will be considered a classic in the coming decades. So raise your hand if you want the paper."

Natsuki's hand shot up immediately and to her horror she realized she was one of the only ones. "And for the project?" Nearly everyone raised their hands, looks of relief adorning their faces. _Traitors_. "Great! It's settled then. Come up after class and tell me who your partner will be."

Damn. Natsuki _hated_ group projects. She had managed to worm her way out of them in the past but Sugiura seemed really intent on this whole 'working with others' thing. Once the class ended she stood reluctantly in line with her classmates, having no idea who she was going to partner with. She didn't know anybody in the class and more importantly, she didn't _want_ to know anybody. She was finally at the front of the line and when she told the professor her name, Sugiura said the seven most confusing words Natsuki had heard that semester.

"You already have a partner. Shizuru Fujino." Natsuki gaped like a fish for a moment, at a loss. "Will that be a problem, Kuga?"

"Actually—" The word came out strangled and embarrassingly high but Sugiura was already onto the next student.

Natsuki quickly exited the classroom, face red and posture stiffer than normal. _What the hell is going on?_

"Excuse me." A soft voice cut through her mental confusion. Natsuki turned to see her new project partner. Shizuru's light brown hair tumbled gently down her shoulders and her ruby eyes shined with something close to amusement. This was the first time Natsuki had seen the girl up close and for some reason her attractiveness made Natsuki like her even less. "Do you have a moment?"

"Not really." Natsuki muttered as she brushed past the other girl. Shizuru looked after her, a curious look on her face. But she didn't follow.

* * *

Natsuki knew she couldn't avoid her forever. After all, the project was due before the end of term. She'd have to speak to her sometime. That's why, when Friday's class ended, Natsuki forced herself to pack up slower than usual. As she predicted, Fujino was waiting for her right outside the room.

"I know, I know." Natsuki started when she saw the other girl open her mouth. "We need to work together and get this thing done. Here's my contact information and the times I'm available for the following weeks." She handed Fujino a slip of paper and started to walk away.

The strap of Natsuki's bag was tugged on until she came to a stop. "Will you stop doing that?" Natsuki smirked slightly at the exasperated tone. "You'll have to have an actual conversation with me at some point, you know."

"I know. But I figure I can put it off for another week or so."

"Is there a reason why you dislike me so much, Natsuki?"

Natsuki ignored the flush coming upon her face at the familiar tone. "Actually, _Fujino_ , there is a reason. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

Shizuru was surprised enough to release her grip on Natsuki's bag. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Natsuki raked a hand through her hair in irritation. "I know you're the student government president. You have influence. I've seen you talk to Sugiura after class tons of times. You were the one who suggested this project, weren't you?"

An unintentional smile came across Shizuru's face. "You really are quite bright. Yes, I did tell Professor Sugiura that it might be better for the student morale to have a project instead of a paper. She had been thinking about changing the final anyways."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "Is that all you did?"

"What else are you insinuating, Natsuki?"

"Why are we partners?" Natsuki said, voice loud and aggravated. This conversation was draining for reasons she didn't know and she was getting frustrated by the never-changing, confident aura of the other girl. "Sugiura said we could choose our own partner but surprise, surprise. We were already chosen. I didn't even see you go up to her desk that day."

Shizuru's head bowed slightly and to Natsuki's astonishment, her cheeks had taken on a pink tinge. "Because you… _intrigue_ me."

That stopped Natsuki short. "W-what?" She stuttered, caught off guard. "What does that mean?"

Shizuru spoke slowly, picking her words carefully. "We've been classmates since freshman year and I have had several classes with you. It's a small campus, it can't really be avoided. You were always closed off, quiet, even when people tried to befriend you. I could tell you weren't lonely even though you were alone." She finished with a hopeless shrug. "It intrigued me. I wanted to know what you were like."

Natsuki's mouth had fallen open sometime during the short speech and she closed it with a small _click_. "I…I don't know what to say to that." She said honestly. Much later, she would evaluate the words Fujino had spoken and wonder how much courage it had taken her to reveal such intimate details. But for now, she didn't have a single coherent thought in her head.

Shizuru chuckled. "You don't have to say anything. Just do the project with me." She went into business mode. "Now, I say we each pick two movies as potential candidates, watch them together, and state our cases." She glanced down at the paper Natsuki had given her. "Does tomorrow night sound good?"

Natsuki nodded dumbly and Shizuru beamed. "Great! I'll text you my address; we'll watch one of the movies at my place." She waved and Natsuki imitated the motion. After Shizuru had left, Natsuki realized her hand was still in the air, reaching out towards the other girl.

* * *

The dark haired girl paced around her small room, stopping only when she saw her clock. _I shouldn't be this nervous_ , she thought as she put on her leather jacket and grabbed her backpack. _After all, it's just a project...with a girl who apparently orchestrated this entire thing just as an excuse to be with me_.

Natsuki scowled at the line her thoughts were taking. This was _Shizuru Fujino_ , for god's sake. No reason to feel special. If anything, the other girl had probably taken pity on her and was treating her as some kind of charity case. Natsuki Kuga: the girl who was taken in by the sweet and thoughtful president.

She made her way towards the parking lot and narrowed her eyes when she saw a scooter parked a little too close to her beloved motorcycle. Natsuki swung her leg over her bike and revved it up, enjoying the sound. She had memorized the address Shizuru had given her. It wasn't far—just on the other side of campus—and she was in front of the university apartments within five minutes.

Unconsciously smoothing her hair down after shaking it free from her helmet, she took a deep breath and knocked on apartment 312B. Before she could hit the door a third time, it swung open.

A nearly out of breath Shizuru stood before her, wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of light shorts. Something about seeing the impeccably-kept president in such casual clothing clenched at Natsuki's chest. She swallowed the feeling and said, "So…can I come in?"

Shizuru had been making her own silent appraisal of Natsuki and paused upon seeing the helmet tucked under her arm. Instead of answering, she asked, "You ride a scooter?" A ghost of a smile passed the president's lips, no doubt imagining how the stony and cool Natsuki looked while hunched over a small moped.

Natsuki shook her head and replied, "Ducati." with no trace of smugness. The president seemed taken aback by that answer and stepped aside silently to let her in.

Natsuki surveyed her surroundings with mild interest. The apartment was maybe triple the size of her own dorm room and included a small kitchen and living area. Everything seemed to be extremely clean and tidy; Natsuki couldn't find even a speck of dust anywhere. She looked towards the living room, dismayed when she didn't see a television.

Shizuru, seeming to know what Natsuki was thinking said, "We don't have a tv out here; it's in my room." She pointed at one of the closed doors opposite of the living room and started towards it.

Natsuki reluctantly followed after her. "Who's your roommate?"

"Haruka Suzushiro. She's the vice president of the student council and the reason why our place is so clean."

The biker's lips turned downwards in distaste. "I know who she is. She's given me about a million tickets and has refused to overturn any of them. I think she's trying to bankrupt me." The latest one had been because Natsuki was going two miles per hour faster than the speed limit on campus. Literally _two miles an hour_ over.

Shizuru opened her room's door, surprise evident on her face from Natsuki revealing something personal about herself. She put on a neutral expression before turning around. "Yes, Haruka is quite… _strict_ when it comes to disciplining the student body." When Shizuru had earlier said she knew nothing about Natsuki, it hadn't strictly been the truth. She had heard her second-in-command complain almost weekly about her and if it wasn't for Shizuru outranking Haruka, Natsuki would have had plenty more tickets (not that she would divulge that information to the biker).

Natsuki entered Shizuru's room with wary eyes, taking in everything around her. Her room was slightly more cluttered than the rest of the apartment but everything was orderly and bright. Shizuru seemed to be taken with purple, as much of her room featured the color (including the freshly made bed). Directly across from the bed was a flat screen television.

Shizuru sat on her bed and watched the other girl. Natsuki felt the other girl's eyes on her but refused to acknowledge them, sitting on the opposite corner of the bed. An awkward silence settled between them until Shizuru spoke up. "We can watch one of your movies tonight. What did you bring?"

After the two had had their last conversation, Natsuki didn't have a lot of time to think about the two movies she would be making her case for. However, the choices were obvious. Shizuru's movies wouldn't have a chance. She turned towards Shizuru. "We can watch The Departed tonight."

The other girl didn't seemed surprised at her choice. She nodded and responded, "I'll set it up." She crawled towards Natsuki's end of the bed and the biker stiffened at the sight. Shizuru's loose shirt exposed the top of her bra and the motion made her shorts ride up her slim legs. "Do you have the dvd?" She asked when she came to a stop beside Natsuki.

"Yes," Natsuki squeaked and struggled with her backpack for a moment before thrusting the movie case at the other girl. Shizuru gave her a questioning look but got up to put the movie in.

Natsuki tried to calm herself down while Shizuru's back was turned. _This is pathetic_ , she thought. _One accidentally sexy pose and I'm a total mess. At this rate the project is going to be a disaster._ She blamed it on her lack of human interaction. When the only other person she socialized with was a chubby, afro-bearing professor, _anyone_ looked good by comparison. But that wasn't giving enough credit to Shizuru Fujino. The girl was beautiful enough to stop people in their tracks when she walked by them. Natsuki put a hand to her face. _Why couldn't I have an ugly partner?_

"Natsuki, are you alright?" The object of her thoughts was suddenly close to her face, looking at her with concern.

The biker scooted away and towards the top of the bed. When she was a safe distance away she muttered, "Yeah." She propped her back against the pillows, refusing to actually lay down.

"Good. Make yourself comfortable." Shizuru went to the other side of the room to collect a blanket before settling in beside Natsuki.

Immediately, Natsuki realized how close the girl was to her. The university beds were only twin-sized and the side of Shizuru's body was nearly pressing into her own from shoulder to knee. She could feel the heat radiating from Shizuru and tried to see how much room she had to move over. _Damn_. If she moved over any more, she'd roll off the bed. _Guess I'll have to get used to this_. Natsuki thought grudgingly. _For about eight hours worth of movies…great._

The rest of the film passed by without incident and Natsuki came to enjoy watching Shizuru out of the corner of her eye. The other girl would occasionally gasp in surprise or narrow her eyes when an important scene came on. By the time the credits rolled, Natsuki realized she had been watching Shizuru more than one of her favorite movies.

"So…" Natsuki started as Shizuru turned the television. "What did you think?"

The president spun around quickly with a smile on her face. "It was fantastic! The ending was tragic but there was some poetic justice in it. Excellent choice, Natsuki."

 _I wasn't expecting this reaction_ , the dark haired girl thought. "Um, thanks." She gave Shizuru a small smirk. "I don't think your movies will be able to hold a candle to it."

"Ara, what confidence you have when you don't even know what my choices are." Shizuru said as she tried to keep the blood rushing from her face due to the sexy twist of Natsuki's mouth. "Would you like to watch one of mine tonight?"

The playful demeanor in Natsuki went out and she frowned. While she was surprised to find that she really wanted to stay, she was uncomfortable for some reason. This was the most time she had spent with someone besides Sakomizu down in his dingy lab and Natsuki needed to take a break from the other girl. _I don't think I could handle any more invasions of personal space tonight._ "No thanks." She said, averting her gaze. "I think I'll just go back to my dorm; I have some homework to finish."

"Oh." Shizuru's fleeting happiness vanished. The conversation, as short as it was, seemed to be a sign that Natsuki was warming up to her. "We can watch my movie next time then. How's next Friday at eight?"

"That'll be good." Natsuki got up and grabbed her helmet. She lingered by the apartment's door, unsure if she should say anything else.

Shizuru looked curiously at the biker, who was tracing a line in the tile with her shoe. "I had fun tonight, Natsuki." She said honestly.

Natsuki looked up and gave her a shy, almost-smile. She opened the door and turned around, her next words so quiet Shizuru wasn't sure if they were imagined or not. "Me too."

* * *

One week was too long. The biker's classes passed as slowly she found herself looking forward to the end of the week. She even found herself being impatient at the lab, usually one of her favorite places.

Natsuki had her film class three days a week and while she saw Shizuru at every class, they never exchanged more than nods or, in Shizuru's case, small smiles. On Friday after class the president had been sure to say (from across the room) how she "Couldn't wait until tonight, Natsuki". Students looked between the two girls with confused looks but shrugged and went on their way. Natsuki's face turned red and she hastily put her helmet on despite the fact she was still inside.

At eight o'clock sharp, Natsuki was in front of Shizuru's door, shivering from the chilly November air. The other girl answered the door with the same eagerness as the first time and ushered Natsuki inside. Natsuki barely had time to put down her things before she found herself on Shizuru's bed with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

"For my first film," The brown haired girl started once Natsuki had warmed up marginally, "I picked Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."

Natsuki made a face. "Isn't that some kind of mushy romantic movie?"

Shizuru looked affronted. "It's more than a _mushy_ movie, Natsuki. The story is beautiful and raises the question of how we should treat painful memories and—"

"Alright, alright." Natsuki put up her hands in surrender before a wry look came across her face. "I never would have pegged you for a romantic."

"That's because you don't know me." Shizuru said playfully. "I'm the kind of girl who'd sweep you off your feet."

The biker nearly choked on her drink. While she was familiar with the saying, Shizuru's use of it seemed quite… _flirtatious_. Unsure of how to respond to that, Natsuki simply replied, "Whatever you say, Fujino."

Shizuru put the dvd in and placed her blanket on the bed. "Would you like to use the blanket?" She asked when she noticed Natsuki was keeping her hot chocolate wrapped up in both of her hands.

Natsuki nodded, trying not to look eager. Shizuru stretched the blanket out until it covered both of them. Shizuru snuggled into it, a relaxed sigh escaping from her lips. Natsuki hid a tender expression behind her cup as she took another small sip.

* * *

Somewhere around the time Jim Carrey was saying how frustrating Kate Winslet's pronunciation of 'library' was, Natsuki felt Shizuru's head fall onto her shoulder. She stiffened, unsure of what to do. "Shizuru?" She whispered. The other girl responded by nuzzling further into Natsuki's side.

 _She's asleep_. Natsuki realized, eyes wide. Her weeks were bound to be busier than Natsuki's, this was the student council president after all. The biker decided to wake her up when the movie ended. She told herself it was because the president deserved it (and _not_ because Natsuki enjoyed the warm exhalations against her neck and the way Shizuru felt against her side).

Once the credits came up, Natsuki gently shook the other girl awake without changing her position. Shizuru looked up at her groggily before comprehension dawned and her cheeks became a lovely shade of pink. "I'm so sorry! It's been a long day and I've seen this movie so many times…" Her excuses drifted off when she saw that Natsuki was laughing. Actually _laughing._

"It was no problem." Natsuki said easily. She was stunned by Shizuru's blush and gently mussed hair. Her laugh sounded foreign to her own ears and she recognized it as the first time in years something had amused her so much. She cleared her throat but the smile stayed on her face. "I figure it might be good blackmail material in case I ever need something from the president."

Shizuru gave her a fake-serious glare. "Being president certainly has its dangers, I suppose. But I won't allow you to corrupt me."

The other girl snorted. "Right. Me, corrupt _you_. Pretty sure it would be the other way around."

"You may be right." Shizuru shifted so her body was facing Natsuki. Her head rested on her hand as she looked up at the biker. "Do you feel tempted to do anything bad right now?"

The teasing tone made Natsuki blush. "Umm…no?" She said uncertainly. _She really knows how to get a reaction out of me_.

"That's too bad." The light-haired girl sighed. She quickly changed the subject before Natsuki thought about bolting. "So what does Natsuki do in her spare time?"

The biker was thrown off guard by the new (and less suggestive) line of questioning. "Not much," She said honestly. "I have an internship in one of the labs and I occasionally take my bike to the track, though that gets pretty expensive." She paused, not sure if she should say anything else. "What…what about you?"

"I don't have as much time for hobbies as I would like, I'm afraid." Shizuru swept her bang out of her eyes. "Though I do enjoy performing tea ceremonies when I get the chance as well as practicing naginata-jutsu."

Natsuki cocked her head. "What's that?"

Shizuru got up and stood by the side of the bed and Natsuki shifted to face her. "The naginata is a wooden pole with a blade attached to the end." Her hands clasped the air, pretending to wield the weapon. "You hold it like this while standing in this position…"

The demonstration went on and Natsuki eventually stood up to join. She mimicked Shizuru as the girl went through basic movements. During the impromptu lesson, the two opened up more about their families and interests. Natsuki learned Shizuru had been a school president since high school where she and Haruka both attended (Haruka had been vice president there as well). Even though Shizuru had no ill feelings towards her, some of Haruka's words came across as hostile and Shizuru was unsure if it was intentional or if she just didn't know how to filter herself. Shizuru was majoring in mathematics, hoping to go to law school after graduation.

Shizuru discovered that Natsuki's motorcycle was her most valuable possession; a gift from the father she hadn't seen in nearly a decade. Natsuki's mother, a military surgeon, had inspired her to study biology and go to med school. She would find out if she got accepted into Fuuka's medical program within the next month.

The conversation continued on unbroken when they decided to settle on the floor. They moved through the topics of their childhoods, classes, and favorite books. It was by far the longest and most fulfilling conversation Natsuki had had while at school. When she looked at her watch, she was dismayed to see so much time had passed—she wanted to continue talking until her throat was sore and she knew everything about Shizuru. Unfortunately, her diligent side told her she needed to go to sleep soon so she wouldn't be nodding off in her 8:30 physiology class.

"I should probably get going…" She said reluctantly, standing up and about to put her jacket on. She was strangely gratified to see disappoint flicker across Shizuru's face. "Or we can watch another movie?" The words slipped out of her mouth without a thought and her eyes widened. _Why did I say that? Guess I'll be napping in class after all.  
_

However Shizuru gave a bright grin that made her eyes sparkle. "That'd be great."

They settled on watching Natsuki's second choice: Drive. The film was full of quiet moments that made Natsuki aware, once again, of how little space there was between her and Shizuru. During a sudden violent scene, Shizuru jumped and her hand grabbed ahold of Natsuki's arm. She relaxed her grip after a moment but her touch lingered. Normally Natsuki would have shaken the hand off her but she found Shizuru's touch strangely comforting. A warmth spread from Shizuru into Natsuki and the biker unconsciously shifted a little closer to Shizuru.

The credits rolled with a heavy silence hanging in the air. Natsuki looked at Shizuru expectantly. "Well? What did you think?"

"It was great." Shizuru said after a moment of thought. "The soundtrack was a pleasant surprise." She gave the other girl a sly look. "And Ryan Gosling reminded me of you."

Natsuki snorted. "He wasn't the most stable guy. Are you trying to say I have a dark streak?"

"No, just that he was the strong and silent type," She poked Natsuki in the side. "and under that he was protective of what he loved."

"Does that make you Carey Mulligan? All kind and understanding and big puppy dog eyes?" Natsuki asked teasingly.

Shizuru lowered her voice. "Do you want me to be?" She watched with amusement as Natsuki slowly turned pink when she realized they were flirting.

"Ahh…" Was all Natsuki could say.

Shizuru spared Natsuki from fully responding when she saw the dvd menu come back on the screen. "Will you be kind enough to pass me the remote?" She gestured towards the end table next to Natsuki.

Natsuki, her blush already fading, made a show of reaching for the remote without leaving the bed. Her fingers brushed the controller, actually pushing it an inch further away. She'd get Shizuru back for that remark. "Sorry, Fujino. Guess it's too far." She turned her head to give a cheeky smile to the other girl.

What she didn't expect was Shizuru sighing and saying, "Then I suppose I'll have to get it myself." The wheat-haired girl reached across Natsuki, arm stretching out. Seeing that she was still too far to reach it, she put one leg over Natsuki's side, practically straddling the girl beneath her. Natsuki's smile disappeared and her eyes widened in surprise. The ends of Shizuru's hair tickled her cheeks and she found herself holding her breath. "Got it!" Shizuru said triumphantly before looking at the biker.

Her ruby eyes quickly took in her position and she found herself unwilling to move. Instead, the hand holding the remote came down to rest beside Natsuki's head. The other girl looked up at her with serious and distractingly beautiful green eyes. Shizuru ached to close the distance between them and her head started to dip down almost imperceptibly—

Shizuru's door swung open. "Bubuzuke! Do you have the papers for…" The loud voice trailed off when the owner found Shizuru in the compromising position. "I'll come back later." The door closed.

Shizuru cursed her roommate for ruining the moment and reluctantly moved off of Natsuki. "That was Haruka." She relayed somewhat sourly to the other girl. "She is a bit loud and has never figured out how to knock on a door." She gave an uncomfortable laugh, hoping to alleviate any potential awkwardness. "Last year, she—"

"I should probably go." Natsuki interrupted quietly, seemingly not hearing what Shizuru was saying.

"Oh. Okay." Shizuru got up and led Natsuki to the apartment door. "See you later this week?" She said uncertainly.

The biker gave her a calming smile. "Of course." The two words eased the worry that had started to settle in Shizuru's stomach. "See you."

* * *

Natsuki couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, had _almost_ happened, with Shizuru. _Was she going to kiss me? Would I have let her?_ Of course, she knew the second answer. Somehow the president had gotten past her carefully constructed walls. _She makes me smile. No one's done that before._

While these thoughts were going on, Natsuki was going through her school days on autopilot. Even Sakomizu chastising her for mixing up two samples (something that had never happened before) wasn't enough for Natsuki to snap out of her state.

Not having anyone to talk to about what she was feeling, she reluctantly typed 'What does a crush feel like?' into her internet browser. Sweaty palms, beating heart, flushed cheeks, nervousness, always having the person on your mind…Natsuki was guilty of each one of them. With more hesitation, she typed in 'What does love feel like?'

The answers were more vague. Things about 'giving a piece of yourself to someone else' and 'being vulnerable, scared, and willing to do anything for the other person even if it means letting them be happy without you'. Natsuki quickly turned off her computer. _This is stupid. I'm not in love with her. She's just…such a good person._

Still, thoughts of Shizuru never left her and on the day of their last movie, she could feel all the symptoms of a crush raging in her.

Nervous about watching another movie with Shizuru so close, Natsuki rapt on the brown haired girl's door quietly. She was met not with Shizuru but an angry looking blonde.

"I parked within the lines." Natsuki said automatically before shouldering past Haruka. She was the last person Natsuki wanted to see and Shizuru's door was so close. Natsuki took several long strides until she was inside the president's room. Shizuru was lounging on the bed, reading a book. She looked up in surprise, not expecting to see the other girl in front of her so suddenly.

Before she could greet her, a terse voice in the hallway said, "Shizuru, can you come out here for a moment?"

"Excuse me, Natsuki. When Haruka calls it is best to answer right away." Shizuru gave a small smile before exiting the room, leaving the door cracked open.

Natsuki sat on the bed, unsure of what to do. She tried to busy herself with putting the dvd on the bed (Mr. Nobody) into the player but the act only took a moment and she found herself listening to the conversation outside.

"Why the hell is that delinquent here, _again_?"

"I told you, we're doing a project."

A snort. "Sure. I don't know what kind of project involves making out with your partner."

"We were not kissing and I fail to understand how this involves you at all."

"How this involves me? For weeks now I haven't been able to avoid hearing you talk about that girl in council meetings then I see you and her 'not making out' and now she's here again. Let me guess, to 'not make out' some more?"

Shizuru's voice became angry. "This is none of your business. I apologize if I brought her up a few times at the meetings but we are working strictly as partners. I would appreciate if you stopped interfering in my life."

"Let me tell you something, Shizuru. This is coming from me as a friend." Haruka's voice sounded hard and anything but friendly. "You are crazy about this girl. Obsessed. In love. Whatever." She cut off Shizuru's response. "You think I haven't seen you looking at her for the past few _years_? How some of her tickets have mysteriously vanished? That when I last talked to Professor Sugiura she told me it was your idea for this project? Tell me you're not in love with the delinquent. I dare you."

There was a tense silence. "It's not like that." Was Shizuru's quiet response.

Another snort. "Sure. Just know I'm not lying to you; you're lying to yourself. Now go in there and finish your project." A door slammed and Natsuki could hear Shizuru catching her breath.

She came in a few minutes later and looked at Natsuki with unreadable eyes. "How much of that did you hear?"

Natsuki didn't want to lie but she couldn't tell the truth. "Just the beginning." She motioned towards the book still on the bed. "I read some of that while waiting."

"Right." Shizuru looked doubtful but didn't press Natsuki. "Let's just watch the movie."

When Shizuru got onto the bed this time, she put as much space as she could between her and the other girl. Natsuki noticed and her jaw clenched at the action. It was easy to get lost in the movie and for awhile Natsuki was able to avoid thinking about what she had overheard. But the words came up unbidden. _Does Shizuru really love me or was Haruka just trying to rile her up?_ She noticed that the president was acting different since the conversation. Her body was stiff, her lips pursed, her eyes on the television but not watching it. _What does her reaction mean?_

The film finished and Natsuki found that she had enjoyed it, even if it was more on the romantic side than she thought it would be. She tilted her head towards Shizuru and saw that the other girl was still motionless. "Shizuru, are you alright?"

She seemed to snap out of her daze and looked at Natsuki. "Yes. We can discuss it later, if that's alright with you. I'm not feeling well." The words were said in a formal manner, as if she was talking to a stranger.

Natsuki stood up and grabbed her helmet, her eyebrows furrowing in consideration. Shizuru got up as well, intent on walking her to the door. The president reached the door first and turned the knob, only to find Natsuki pressing herself against the doorframe. "Tell me what's wrong." Natsuki demanded, realizing that she was as close to Shizuru now as she was when she was beneath her a few days earlier.

Shizuru's mask of stoicism broke. Her face was overcome with pain and her eyes brimmed with tears. "I know you heard everything. And you know what? Haruka wasn't wrong. It's _me_. There's must be something wrong with me to feel so much for another person."

Natsuki's heart hammered painfully. "What do you mean?"

The words streamed out of Shizuru. "I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. It was during some class required for freshmen. You were, still _are_ , so beautiful. I've wanted to get closer to you for so long but haven't been able to. You and Haruka were right; I organized this entire thing just as a way to be with you." Shame burned in her eyes but she continued. "I found out that you were so much more than a pretty face. You're kind, intelligent, and sweeter than you realize. It's been so hard these last few weeks. I want to spend every moment I can with you and when you're not there…" A tear trickled down her cheek. "I feel like something inside of me is missing."

Natsuki swallowed and reached out shakily, brushing a tear away from Shizuru's cheek. The sign of affection was too much for the other girl. Her hands framed Natsuki's face and she gently brushed her lips against the biker's. She pulled back for a fraction of a second before leaning in to kiss her again.

Shizuru increased the pressure of the kiss, effectively pinning Natsuki against the wall. A hand trailed down Natsuki's side, coming to rest on her hip while her other hand slid through dark hair. A heated tongue sought entrance into the biker's mouth and Natsuki, not knowing what to do, opened her mouth slightly. Their tongues met and Natsuki heard a small gasp escape the other girl. The helmet in Natsuki's hand dropped to the ground as she reached towards Shizuru.

The sound of it hitting the floor jolted Shizuru away. A trembling hand was raised to her mouth when she realized what just occurred. "Oh my god." She breathed. "I am so sorry. Just…just forget it, please. Pretend it never happened."

Natsuki could feel the blood pounding in her head. "No, I…" She couldn't get her voice out past a whisper. "I don't…" _I don't want to forget._ The words got stuck in her throat and she froze, unable to speak.

Shizuru flinched. "I understand." She said softly and new tears sprung in her eyes. "I'll just…" She opened the door and left.

Natsuki slid down to rest against the wall and distantly heard the apartment's door open and close. She curled her arms around her knees and squeezed her eyes shut. _What do I do?_

* * *

The day of the presentation drew near. The night before, Shizuru texted Natsuki a copy of the project she had written out; they were going to present The Departed. The text said nothing else and Natsuki knew what happened between them couldn't be talked about over the phone.

She sighed deeply. It had been three days since the kiss and the two hadn't seen each other since. For once, Shizuru wasn't present in their shared class and there was no sign of her on campus. Natsuki was ashamed to discover that she was too cowardly to venture near Shizuru's apartment. Tossing the genetics textbook she had been reading away from her, she slumped onto her bed and put a pillow over her face. _I guess I should look over the project_ , She thought miserably, anxiety coursing through her at the thought of presenting with Shizuru near her, both of them pretending nothing was wrong. _This is going to suck._

* * *

"Great job, guys. Next pair." Sugiura said over the applause of the students. Natsuki kept her gaze on her desk and her foot bobbed nervously. She and Shizuru were up after this. She had seen the brown-haired girl enter at the beginning of the class. Even from across the room, Natsuki saw her pale when their eyes met before she quickly took a seat far from the biker.

The group in front of them was over far too soon for Natsuki's liking and she slowly made her way up to the front of the classroom. Shizuru gave her a small, pained smile that Natsuki was too on-edge to return. Once they had the class' attention, Shizuru opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Sugiura looked at her expectantly as the seconds dragged on.

Unbidden, the words that had been haunting Natsuki for the last few days repeated themselves again and again in her head. _Just forget it…pretend it didn't happen. Just forget…_

A sudden surge of determination came upon her. "For our film, we decided on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." Natsuki said clearly and the professor's attention shifted to focus on her instead. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Shizuru staring at her as well. _Good_ , she thought with grim satisfaction. She plowed on. "The film is about a couple who undergo a procedure to forget about one another once their relationship turns sour. However afterwards they are still inexplicably drawn to each other. This may seem like a strange pick for what movie may soon be considered a classic, but I believe its message rings true for any person in any time period."

She took a steadying breath and turned towards Shizuru. The other girl's mouth had opened in surprise and the papers in her hand were shaking. "The message being that you can't just forget about a loved one. Be it through a scientific procedure or sheer willfulness, strong feelings will still persist. The protagonists in the film, despite their disagreements and arguments, are clearly meant to be together. Saying 'forget it' doesn't mean it didn't happen…especially when the other person doesn't want to forget." Natsuki finished quietly.

Shizuru continued to stare at her, a flush slowly coming to her face. Natsuki cleared her throat. "And now I'll let Shizuru tell you about the more technical aspects of the film." She caught the professor's gaze and motioned towards the door. Sugiura nodded and turned her gaze on Shizuru, who had begun speaking.

Natsuki pushed through the classroom's door and ran to the nearest bathroom. Panting, she splashed her face with cool water and urged her stomach to settle. Then the reality of the situation hit her. _Holy shit, I basically gave her a love confession in front of the whole class_. _I can't go back now._

Without another thought she headed towards her dorm, the only safe place she could think of. The whole way there, she kept thinking of how _stupid_ that stunt was. What if Shizuru had told her to forget the kiss because she herself had regretted it? She threw open the door to her room and started pacing, hands on her head.

Soon she calmed down enough to lay on her bed, a dog plush squeezed to her chest. She stayed that way until the sky began to darken and her stomach started growling.

Natsuki got up and teetered as the blood rushed back into her head. _Guess I can't stay in here forever._ Prepared to go down to the dining hall, she opened the door only to come face to face with Shizuru.

The brown-haired girl, with her windswept hair and slightly askew clothing, looked like she had ran here. The obvious question of _'How do you know where I live?'_ died in Natsuki's throat. Instead she simply waited for Shizuru to say something.

"Can…can I come in?" Shizuru asked uncertainly. Gone was the easy confidence and charming smiles, replaced with a scared and hesitant girl.

Natsuki tilted her head towards her room, giving her silent permission to enter. Unable to help herself, Shizuru's eyes skimmed over everything in the room, wanting to take in all the details she could. Natsuki's room was tiny; with only a bed, desk, and dresser inside. Every flat surface was covered in textbooks, papers, and motorcycle magazines. Posters of the human skeletal and muscular systems hung crookedly above the desk. Natsuki cleared off her chair for Shizuru before sitting a safe distance away on the bed.

"I…" Shizuru started. She closed her mouth before starting again. "What you said in class…did you mean it?"

A small part of Natsuki told her to lie, to distance herself from the other girl. Her hand knotted her comforter and she swallowed hard, fighting against the urge. "Yes. I meant every word." She forced the words out and it felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. She felt lightheaded as she waited for Shizuru to respond.

For her part Shizuru felt a wave of relief hit her, nearly taking her breath away. "For the last few days I haven't left my room." She admitted. "All I could think about was what a huge mistake I had made. I missed classes and council meetings. I couldn't sleep. I was so nervous to come to class today, to face you." She focused her gaze on Natsuki. "But when you said those things earlier, I thought that maybe it was alright. That you…feel the same way. Do you?"

Natsuki would have laughed if it weren't for how incredibly vulnerable Shizuru looked. Even with her borderline confession in the class and confirmation of it just a moment ago, it seemed like Shizuru still couldn't believe Natsuki liked her the same way. Like she was expecting to be rejected.

Natsuki got off the bed and crouched in front of Shizuru so they were at eye level. Being this close, Natsuki could smell her perfume and feel the heat emitting from her body. She realized now how much she had missed this closeness. Shizuru looked down at Natsuki's lips, her breath quickening.

"For being such a smart person, you're acting like an idiot." Natsuki said, a smile playing around the edges of her mouth. The remark drew Shizuru's gaze back to Natsuki's eyes and she looked stunned by what the other girl had just said. Natsuki continued on. "I'm not perfect. Actually, I'm kind of an asshole sometimes. And I _really_ don't like other people. But you…you're different. You've somehow managed to get underneath my skin and I feel like a better person just by being around you. You make me so happy it hurts sometimes. Of course I love you, Shizuru." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

She leaned forward, capturing Shizuru's surprised lips with her own. Due to her awkward position, Natsuki quickly teetered off balance and caught herself before she fell, breaking the kiss in the process. Shizuru put a hand to her mouth, trying and failing to stifle her laughter. Natsuki chuckled and scooted towards the wall, motioning Shizuru to join her. Shizuru got off the chair and sat between Natsuki's legs. The biker slid her feet inwards until her thighs were on either side of Shizuru, trapping her in place.

Shizuru leaned in. "Sorry I've been such an idiot," she said before kissing Natsuki's cheek. "Will you be able to forgive me?"

Natsuki pulled back, leaning her head against the wall thoughtfully. "Hmm…that depends. How will you make it up to me?"

"Very… _thoroughly_. I assure you." The next kiss was placed on Natsuki's neck and a tongue lightly felt at the pulse there.

Natsuki tried to keep her voice steady. "Th-that's good. I'm feeling a little better already." She brought Shizuru's mouth back to her own, tasting the smile of the other girl.

Later, they moved to the bed when Natsuki, in between kisses, complained of her backside going numb. The two held one another until their eyelids eventually drooped and they fell asleep tangled up in each other's arms.

* * *

Natsuki never smiled much as a child. Even through most of university she had barely turned her lips upwards. But that changed once she came to know Shizuru Fujino. Shizuru had opened her up, freeing her from the surly shell she had created. While she was still testy with other people and prone to scowling at strangers, when she was with Shizuru she was nothing but adoring glances and words laced with secret meanings. Nothing would ever be perfect but she had Shizuru and Shizuru had her. And Natsuki thought that was something worth smiling about.

* * *

**End notes:** If you liked this story, I highly recommend that you listen to the songs So Contagious by Acceptance and Keep You by Class Actress. They were big inspirations. Thank you for reading!


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